Rear-Meat Rhoda

Girls come in assorted sizes,
Predictable, and sans surprises.
But there’s one who breaks the quota:
The guys all call her Rear-Meat Rhoda.

Rhoda has a rounded bottom
(Not too many females got ’em).
Men who pass say “Get a loada
That caboose!” when they see Rhoda.

Rhoda’s buns show perfect motion,
Undulating like the ocean.
Just as men love Scotch and soda
They love that butt on Rear-Meat Rhoda.

Indeed, it’s really quite uncanny
How that plump and rotund fanny
Prompts the average guy to explode a
Love-burst when he gets near Rhoda.

Lord, that tush sure brings her treasure—
Males splurge in sheer delight and pleasure.
To be near that behind, they tote a
Slew of gifts when dating Rhoda.

Rhoda’s ass can be a magnet—
It draws men in just like a dragnet.
Back in high school, guys all showed a
Tendency to drift towards Rhoda.

Other girls? Their hopes were blighted
Since their derrières were slighted.
But when it came to rump, they hoed a
Smaller row than Rear-Meat Rhoda.

I’m not kidding. She’s a cutie
With that hot, curvaceous booty—
The cardinals in the Roman Rota
Would turn and stare if they saw Rhoda.

Ladies with a lousy heinie
(Thin and flat, or pinched and tiny)
Were enraged, and tried to vote a
Resolution banning Rhoda

But they never were successful;
The males all longed to see a dressful
Of those hips. And that’s my coda
To this riff on Rear-Meat Rhoda.



About Joseph S. Salemi

Joseph S. Salemi has published poems, translations, and scholarly articles in over one hundred journals throughout the United States, Canada, and Great Britain. His four collections of poetry are Formal Complaints and Nonsense Couplets, issued by Somers Rocks Press, Masquerade from Pivot Press, and The Lilacs on Good Friday from The New Formalist Press. He has translated poems from a wide range of Greek and Roman authors, including Catullus, Martial, Juvenal, Horace, Propertius, Ausonius, Theognis, and Philodemus. In addition, he has published extensive translations, with scholarly commentary and annotations, from Renaissance texts such as the Faunus poems of Pietro Bembo, the Facetiae of Poggio Bracciolini, and the Latin verse of Castiglione. He is a recipient of a Herbert Musurillo Scholarship, a Lane Cooper Fellowship, an N.E.H. Fellowship, and the 1993 Classical and Modern Literature Award. He is also a four-time finalist for the Howard Nemerov Prize.